| Yes, my weight again. Deal with it. |
[Oct. 11th, 2006|11:14 am] |
I notice that I feel like such a poser when I enter conversations about working out or going to the gym. I feel like people must look at me and think, "Yeah, right, like she works out." Sigh.
But the thing is, it is such a big part of my life right now. I have been going to the gym 4-5 times a week for an hour at a time. So, sometimes, it just can't help but talk about it. "I have to go to the gym tonight." Or, "Yeah, I HATE running but the elliptical is great." Or, "I took this kickboxing class and it kicked my ass."
Oh well. I guess the important thing is I'm doing something to be healthy and who cares what people think.
Of course. I do.
Also, while I'm trying really hard not to let it get me down, all of this insane working out has allowed me to maintain my weight which sucks because it means in order to maintain being morbidly obese I need to work out five times a week. How. Did. I. Lose. It. Before.
I've given up beer for the next 6 weeks or so. Maybe that will help. |
|
|
| Class of 96 |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|11:05 am] |
Holy cow. I had a GREAT time at the class reunion.
And to think, I was really, really, really nervous about the whole thing.
But wow. Everyone was soooo nice.
It was strange seeing people that I went to ELEMENTARY school with and tons of people I went to middle school with. And I realized, after the fact, that there were a lot of people in that room that I had best friend stages with at one point or another.
And people remembered things about me that I didn't even remember. And people remembered me who I never expected to remember me.
I'm glad I went.
I'm not so glad I drank that last couple of beers...yes, it was a rough morning after. :) |
|
|
| So strange. |
[Sep. 21st, 2006|10:51 pm] |
I was just going through my emails to put together addresses for the wedding guest list. I came to a mail from June from Uncle Dan (really, my great Uncle.) He wrote a little note to tell his email list that while he was still in the hospital and getting tests done, he was doing alright.
A couple of weeks ago, my mom called to tell me he had passed away. It's so strange that in June this 84-year-old man was emailing and using LOL and a few months later, he is gone.
The passing of Uncle Dan made me pretty sad. I haven't really talked about it much or written about it. I'm not sure why. I don't tend to deal with things like this well. And, it's not like Uncle Dan was a daily part of my life -- and I hadn't even seen him in 10 years. But I certainly used to get email forwards from him often -- and every time I got one, I was relieved to know he was still with us.
|
|
|
| It's been 10 years?! |
[Sep. 14th, 2006|04:46 pm] |
Ok, so I'd been looking forward to my class reunion. I don't know. I guess that since I was such a nerd in high school I thought it would feel great to go and be kind of hip and cool.
Then I realized -- I'm still a nerd. Sigh. I've realized this by a couple of things.
First, after some MySpace browsing, I realized that there are a bunch of people from my class on MySpace and I realized most of them have friended each other. No one has found or friended me. I know, I know, I haven't tried to friend anyone else...but still. You'd think there'd be ONE person who'd friend me.
Then, today, I got an email from Classmates.com saying that a whopping 11 people have visited my profile since something like 2003 or whenever I set up that profile YEARS ago. I have a feeling 10 of those 11 visits are me visiting my own profile. How. Sad.
So, now, I'm kinda of anxious about the whole thing. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much. I felt like ten years would be the great equalizer. Ten years of being an adult and living life would make us all the same. But, I think I'm wrong. The popular people will still be the popular people despite my hopes and dreams of the nerds rising up and taking control. Yes, I've watched too many movies about high school.
I think part of my anxiety comes from the fact that I feel like my high school years were the best years of my life ambition-wise. It was so easy to know what I wanted and go for it. I wanted straight A's. I wanted to go to college far away -- preferably a college that was on the more difficult side to get into so that I could prove something (though I'm not sure what.) And, pretty much, I got there. I had one B on my high school record. I was THIRD overall in my class.
But since then, I haven't risen above or done anything super-cool or become someone important in my career. I'm average -- and in high school, while I was weird, quirky, nerdy, and really fat, damnit, I was an above average student!
I am pretty positive I'm not the type of person who will ever be happy what I've got. When I think back to high school what I *really* wanted was a slew of friends and a guy who liked me and to make money. And guess what? I have that now. I have a bunch of super wonderful friends who I can count on for anything. I am engaged (never, ever in high school did I think that would happen.) And. I can support myself and go away on trips and not worry so much about money (except that I do because that's who I am.)
So, hey, maybe by my high school standards I am the most successful person around...too bad my twentysomething self can't realize that! |
|
|
| I went the gym... |
[Aug. 28th, 2006|10:52 am] |
and all I got was a broken back.
I was such a good bunny on Saturday and went to the gym and did my cardio and weight workouts. Great, right? Except that I must have pulled a muscle in my back and I'm experiencing horrible, it's-hard-to-walk, back pain.
I blame my mother's genes -- she always had a bad back.
Sigh.
It bothers me on many levels. I couldn't really do anything on Sunday because of my back including going to the gym. I was counting on the fifth day there last week. None of the cleaning or organizing I wanted to do got done. Bwah. I just hope I can get to the gym this week (I'm thinking a light elliptical work out might actually help loosen my back up.)
On the plus side, I did nothing but watch really cheesey, girly movies all day long. Like seriously, one after another: Can't Buy Me Love, A Walk to Remember, Jersey Girl, Uptown Girls, and She's All That. And these were all on TV! Every time a movie ended on one channel, it seemed another was begining again. Sa-weet. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2006|10:07 am] |
Last night, at the gym, a random woman working out in the ladies weight room said I was strong. :) She said, "You're strong. You lift a lot of weight." I guess weight training is paying off. And I mean, she looked like she knew what she was talking about. It's encouraging because hopefully, at least, I can be healthy and strong. I was actually lifting 15 pound weights for bicep curls -- a personal best.
Thank you, Buff Bride book. |
|
|
| Phew, it's practically Friday |
[Aug. 3rd, 2006|10:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Sean's Chair | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Whir of the fans. | ] |
Hola.
It's. Been. One. Long. Week. Actually. It's. Been. One. Long. Month. July seemed soooo long to me. Not sure why since we had a vacation, but man.
We're into August. And, as I asked someone at work the other day, is it bad that I am ready for this year to be over? I know we aren't supposed to wish away our lives, but I just feel next year will be much better than this year has been so far. Although, I do think I've been saying that for about five years. :)
--------------------
I have been to the gym 12 of the last 16 days -- that's to say, I've had four days off in the past 16 days. Not that anyone cares about that stat, however I think it's impressive.
-------------------
Last weekend was a good time. Gracie was in town for a mutual friend's wedding at the posh Harvard Club here in Boston. Another friend of mine said that her dad described the place as a little bit Hogwarts. We all agreed. The ball room was so fancy -- but not really the stuffy fancy, it was more like the fairy tale fancy. The ceremony was awesome -- it just felt right. You know? And the reception was a good time although I do have very helpful friends who liked to get me drinks (the bartenders made REALLY good cosmos) which kinda led me to walking through the streets of Boston barefoot afterwards. Dirty, I know, but I didn't care at the time.
There was a traditional Jewish chair lifty, dancy thing which was really fun. The food was good (mmm, lobster chowda.) And seeing very missed, long-lost friends together with near and dear Boston friends is always fantastic.
Plus, Gracie and I got in some shopping for old time's sake and a trip to Red Bones.
-----------------
It's been HOT. But now it's cool. And the weekend looks like some good weather. Looking forward to games, and an evening with the Princess, plus some MUCH needed cleaning.
-----------------
I should start planning this wedding. Really. |
|
|
| I'm back. |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|11:50 pm] |
Hi there. It's me. The long lost author of this Livejournal. I'm pretty sure I've lost most readership. But that's cool.
It's been a rough few months for me -- personally and professionally. I've been down in the dumps and an insane workplace hasn't helped so much.
Why down in the dumps? Well, of course, you know, it's gotta do with weight, first and foremost. I got crazy out of control this past year and it's taken a lot to get me back on track (alot being a) some really terrible photographic evidence, b) a huge closet imbalance between clothes that fit and clothes that do not, and c) the realization that in a little over two months I'll be going wedding dress shopping AND to my 10-year high school reunion.)
I'm not going to go on and on about how much I hate myself for, again, putting on so much weight. Right now, I'm back on track four days strong -- and 1 week back to the gym with NO days off. I've got a plan. I've got a heart rate monitor. And I'm fighting. And I'm feeling pretty good -- except when I look in my closet.
Work's been a trial since the beginning of June. Lots of hours of overtime and exhaustion. But help came and we are training her now. Plus, some new work excitement has things look up for this bunny.
It hasn't been all bad though. I finished culinary school for the year with an A+! Fittingly, the last class of this year was a nutrition class which really informative on many fronts. I finally feel comfortable and confident in the cooking labs. I can't wait to start back up in the fall.
I went to Vegas with the girls in June which was quite the whirlwind tour complete with a wonderfully fancy chef's tasting dinner (at Michael Mina's Nobhill), VIP treatment (at the Palm's Ghostbar), and a little bit of poker earnings ($30 isn't a lot, but it is winnings!) I can't wait to get back there before the end of the year with Sean to play poker for, oh, about three days straight! Ohhh, and I saw a poker celebrity at the Belagio which made me freak out a bit (is it sad that I'm more excited about either poker or chef celebrities than anyone else?)
After Vegas, Sean and I went to visit friends in Seattle (Gracie, and a quick visit with Boy Cary) and Portland (Josh and Angela, and a quick visit with Sean's old friend Savanna.) We had a wonderful time on the west coast and enjoyed the fabulous weather (warm, dry, and, at times, breezy), delicious eats, fantastic views, and fun times with friends. I loved this part of the world, really. It goes on the "I could live here" list (which, ok, does contain most places I've visited!)
The goal for the rest of the summer, for me, is to be a hermit. No. Really. I've got a few events lined up, but for the most part, I'm lying low. I need some relaxation time. Oh yeah, and some time to plan the wedding...stay tuned. :) |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
fuzzypinkbnny's journal